Tuesday, May 13, 2008

pepsi-caffeine musings

My day was overwhelmingly filled with so much distraction and boredom and particularly overexposure to media (and too many episodes of MTV's Real World: Hollywood). I found out that a family friend just got into Yale, and I got that feeling of wanting to go back to school, something I hadn't been feeling at all for a few months. Patricia Sloane-White didn't go back to school for ten years, all of which she spent in the private sector. She's a person that seems truly happy. I guess I'm just so relieved to not feel that cracked out inadequacy and pressure and the general feeling of not wanting to be in school, which I felt at about the junior-year mark when I realized I still had 2 years left, 66% in quantity of what I'd already gone through, and not 33% like the rest of my friends and my class, and I felt just on the verge of totally lost after declaring my Computer Science major, my fourth at that point. So unless I take another crack at the Boren, which would require stringent self-assurance about my academic whereabouts, flying under the radar for a little while and not doing things according to other people's standards feels good.